Shinobi Hiden: Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games
by DynamoBlaze
Summary: "Of all the words of pen and tongue, the saddest are 'What Might Have Been' ". But of course, they are also the most interesting.
1. The Ingenious Uzumaki

**Shinobi Hiden**

 **Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games**

 **The Ingenious Uzumaki**

Uzumaki Naruto.

Number One Hyperactive, Unpredictable, Knuckleheaded Ninja.

Dread of ANBU.

Prankster Supreme.

All the above descriptions can successfully describe this boy. But one thing they barely touch on, is his ingenuity. Indeed, most of his more creative plans would have been impossible but for the incredibly high ingenuity he possesses.

...

 _Kawarimi_

Hatake Kakashi was having a bad day.

First, taking _another_ team of Genin-hopefuls, inexpirienced, ignorant, and whatnot (The fact that they had passed the Bell Test and thus were Genin now being completely not worth mentioning). A fangirl, who screeched as loud as a banshee, a self-proclaimed Uchiha 'Avenger' (Hah! As if!), and finally, his own Sensei's son, bearing clone-like resemblance to his Sensei Minato and teammate Obito in looks and personality. The very act of looking at him was fraught with pain, bringing back painful, repressed memories that made him want to burst out crying.

And as if that was not enough, it seemed that the fangirl, by all rights the weakest member of the group was also the one who took training the least seriously.

"Now, my cute little Genin, as you have proven yourselves worthy of the momentous tasks of accompanying me to missions and training, we shall see what you are made of." He said, hanging upside down from a tree, reading his precious. After all, showing off and annoying the fools at the same time was a brilliant motivator.

"Huh? What do you mean, Kakashi-Sensei?" Sakura asked, immediately taking on the role of the obidient little schoolgirl (No Kakashi, no, no thinking about Icha-Icha when training).

After a questioning 'Hn' from Sasuke and a 'We'll deal with it, Dattebayo!' from Ob- _Naruto_ , he started explaining.

"What I mean, my cute little Genin, is that you will be showing me the most advanced use of the _Kawarimi no Jutsu_ that you can do." He drawled.

The Uchiha responded with a 'Hn' again (Really, his vocabulary was a miracle of nature), and Naruto shouted "Yeah!".

He waited until they took position in the middle of the clearing that was Training Ground 3. Hmm, where to start, where to start... Oh damn it, why was _he_ taking the trouble?

"Sakura, please introduce us to the _Kawarimi_." He said. After all, why do it when you can have someone else do it?

"Hai, Sensei." She replied. "The _Kawarimi no Jutsu_ is a Supplementary E-Rank Ninjutsu derived from the _Shunshin no Jutsu_. Its handseals are Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog, Snake. It is used to substitute the user and another object, usually a log, and is mainly used to get away from attacks which cannot be dodged in time." She rattled off without taking a breath.

"Succinct. Now that we know what we are doing, why don't you show us first?" He said.

Sakura prepared herself, then performed the handseals. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, and a log was there. Then, she walked in from another direction, for some reason (Hn) her eyes shaped like hearts. Kakashi was not disappointed (much), because this was what he had expected.

He tried to take the most believable disappointed-teacher tone he could muster, and declared, "Sakura, I am disappointed! This is what you learned in the academy! If you want to grow stronger, then you will have to do _better_." The Killing intent that had leaked into the surroundings during the end was completely unintentional, promise!

As she tried to articulate a coherent response, he pointed to The Last Uchiha. "Now, your turn, broody." Ignoring the 'Hn', he added, "But, what about this? Naruto," he paused to let the blond finish his loud answer, "you will throw one shuriken at Sasuke. Sasuke will not be allowed to move or block. He will use the _Kawarimi_." Sakura's protests were like music to his ears. Ignored completely, that is.

Naruto, who was excited to do something he often (day)dreamed about, was almost jumping with supressed energy. As soon as he signalled his readiness with another 'Hn', Naruto threw a shuriken with such speed it made a loud 'swish' sound.

Sasuke performed three handseals (It seemed that he had figured out the reduced seal version), then disappeared in a puff of smoke just as the projectile passed through. Naruto muttered (at volume others used to speak normally) a 'Damn'.

"Acceptable." He said. No sense in increasing the volume of his already overinflated head, after all.

Then, finally, Naruto, and Kakashi dared to hope. He cringed as the Genin performed all five handseals at sedate speed, two blue semicirles showing just how much he was overcharging the technique. Then Hatake Kakashi, who was once upon a time only mildly surprised when his teacher's girlfriend punched him so hard he went through a cliffside and landed on the opposite side of Konoha, got his mind blown.

As soon as Naruto completed the Snake Seal, several things happened in quick succession. There was a puff of smoke _away_ from Naruto, a crack, and a ball of smoke no larger than a football.

The other two Genin had confused looks on their faces. Sakura had her mouth open like a fish, while Sasuke kept blinking in regular intervals.

What had just happened?

"Naruto, what exactly did you do?" Kakashi asked, as gently as one might a newborn child.

Naruto, being excited as he had finally done something unique, enthusiastically began explaining."Well, Sakura-chan told me about these tiny little invisible things floating around in the air, called _molecules_ , which are forming all kinds of patterns. So I thought that if I can substitute with a big log, then I can substitute myself with a mole-cool, because _I_ am so big for it. But when I did, for a moment it was almost like someone was pressing me very hard."

Kakashi understood what Naruto was saying, and that made him all the more incredulous. Substituting with a molecule, really? But that fit in with circumstances, and even most Nara would have trouble with coming up with a reasonable explanation on the fly like that.

Naruto substituted with a molecule. The vacuum that was caused by replacing Naruto's body with a single molecule sucked in the smoke with supersonic speeds, producing a crack. Meanwhile, Naruto pushing away the air pressure on what was previously a single molecule was what had caused the pressing sensation he described.

Sakura was sputtering, and Sasuke looked ready to pass out.

And Hatake Kakashi was having a really bad day.

...

 _Hiraishin_

"Okay, Naruto, now that the egghead-" Genma was interrupted by Iwashi's indignant 'I'm not an egghead!', but continued. "- is sufficiently satisfied with you knowing enough about every damn aspect of the _Hiraishin_ -" "It's _Hiraijin!_ " "- "- that you can write a damned book, we are going to be doing the practicals."

All the while, Raido stood quietly.

Iwashi went into lecture mode again, and said, "Now Naruto, create three _Kage Bunshin_ , and then do exactly what-"

This time, the interruption was by Raido. "Come on, Iwashi, cut the kid some slack. He's been memorising things like mad for a month. Let him do it alone."

Naruto did what they wanted, and three clones burst into existence. They linked hands, and vanished in a flash of yellow.

Unfortunately for the Hokage Guards, Naruto's clones appeared not at the seal they'd placed on the ground, but instead on the top of Raido's head. As Raido collapsed from the sheer weight that was three Narutos, the other two looked on dumbfounded.

"Naruto, what exactly did you do?" Had they taken lessons from Kakashi or something, one part of Naruto thought, while the other worried about the fallen man. So of course, Naruto replied like he had to Kakashi, months ago.

"Well, Sakura-chan told me about these tiny little invisible things floating around in the air, called molecules, which are forming all kinds of patterns. So I thought that if they form _all_ patterns, then they must form the seal pattern too, so I thought- I mean, it was meant to be a surprise, they were supposed to land with Raido in between, but I'm sorry-"

Genma interrupted Naruto, chuckling. "Well, it seems like you did the impossible once again, little guy. Kakashi hadn't exaggerated, I see. And anyway, Raido needed to be taken down a few. Or a few dozen." He chuckled again.

Meanwhile, Iwashi groaned. What _was_ with this kid and air molecules? The Hokage was going to have a fit.

...

...


	2. The Power of Teamwork

**Shinobi Hiden**

 **Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games**

 **The Power of Teamwork**

Hatake Kakashi valued teamwork.

That much people knew. Why? That was another thing entirely.

...

 _Moeru-Ha no Ame_

and

 _Oku Ha-Ken_

 _Rain of the Flaming Leaves_

and

 _Billion Leaf Blades_

Team 7.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Haruno Sakura.

Uzumaki Naruto.

Orochimaru did not hold these children in high regard, from any perspective whatsoever. Sure, they had Sharingan no Kakashi, exalted Copycat Ninja, as their teacher, but from what he knew, he would not have taught them anything worth knowing.

In this, he was wrong. Horribly wrong.

"Ku, ku, ku. Yes, the Uchiha and his two teammates. Tell me, how do you find the Forest of Death?" Orochimaru said, not that anyone was aware of his identity. Or so he thought.

"Hey, you mad gay snake bastard! You aren't getting us today!" There is a prize of exactly zero Ryo for guessing which person's mouth these words originated from.

Orochimaru managed a somewhat affronted tone. "Now, now, no need for such adjectives here, however true they may be. On another note, it seems you know your Missing-Nin."

Sakura wanted to vomit.

"Hey, bastard! Let's make a bet!" A prize for this one, too.

"It seems you have one my teammate's vices. Tell me, what is this _bet_?" Orochimaru asked, his tongue somehow flicking around in the air near his mouth even as he spoke.

"If we can damage you, like actually hurt you, then you go running away from Konoha, and no hurting us." Naruto said, at his usual excessive volume.

"Ku, ku, ku, what an interesting proposition. Do you really think you can harm me, children? _Me_ , Orochimaru of the _Densetsu no Sannin_ , who went toe-to-toe against Hanzo the Salamander?" He appeared really amused now, as if seeing moths challenge a flame.

"Ha! _You_ think you can take on Uzumaki Naruto, Future Hokage, and his two sidekicks?" Naruto was suddenly assaulted by some Killing Intent which was coming suspiciously _not_ from Orochimaru's direction. In fact, it seemed that he had somehow twisted it so that it appeared to originate from his teammates. Strange thing, really.

"You are amusing boy. If only for that, I shall take this bet." Orochimaru was downright grinning now, which appeared incredibly creepy.

"Oh no, you ain't gonna get me with that! Swear it!" While Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped from the prankster's immense naivety, Orochimaru actually laughed. Laughed!

"Very well. So be it. I, Orochimaru, swear that if Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura manage to harm me, I shall neither give any of them the Cursed seal of Earth, nor stay in Konohagakure land any longer." He declared. Then, he sat down.

 _Huh? What the heck?_ Team 7 thought as their opponent simply observed them. Then, as one, they gathered together, and started a whispered discussion.

"Why is he sitting down?"

"Damn if I know, dobe."

"Naruto, Sasuke-kun, I think I know. It's probably like Kakashi-Sensei and his book."

"So that means he's underestimating us. Good. Sasuke, can you copy any nature transformation with your eyes?"

"Yes, of course I can. The Sharingan is the greatest-"

"Yeah, yeah. Sakura, didn't Sensei show you that Earth Type exercise with the leaves?"

"Yes, but I can't do it perfectly. Instead of crumbling, the leaf just hardens."

"Excellent. Do it now. Sasuke, copy it."

"But why?"

"Tell you later. Now _do it_. As many as you can."

While they gathered leaves, Orochimaru looked on, amused and bemused. Were these kids trying to smother him with leaves or something?

After some time, after Sakura had nearly exhausted her reserves, and Sasuke had a sizeable chunk used, Naruto rubbed his hands together. "Sasuke, make a sheet of Fire Type chakra above us, like a roof. As thin as you can."

Just as the Uchiha said 'Done', Naruto disappeared, along with the leaves.

Orochimaru had a fairly good idea of what they were going to do, even if he didn't know why. They were going to dump the heavy leaves on him, and hope to crush him.

To say he was astonished by what came later would be an understatement. "Take this! **_Konoha Ninpo: Moeru-Ha no Ame!_** " A voice came from above.

It was terryfying. They were everywhere. Everywhere! Thousands, Millions of Leaves, burning and flaming so brilliantly that his eyes were almost burning too. And the speed! They raced through the air with a _KWOOSH!_ sound, a mixture of the sound of kunai and fire.

He had no means of escape. Not the four directions, not up, not even down. Those darned leaves cut through the soil like it wasn't even there! He was sliced, burned, nicked, singed, cut, one of them even dismembered his wrist.

He was scared. Not since Hanzo had he been so frightened, so terribly unable to do do anything even remotely worthwile. ' _Doryuheki_ 's came and went, even ' _Suijinheki_ 's at full power could do no more than extinguish the leaves.

In the meanwhile, the two remaining members of Team 7 looked about in undisguised astonishment,

The barrage of the leaves went on for what seemed like hours. When it ended, what came out was more of a charred, cut corpse without a hand than a Sannin. With immense pain, he opened his mouth, and out came another body, this one looking that he had put inside an oven, instead of the earlier one's lava pit.

Orochimaru uttered a single word. "Die."

Then he vanished. In an instant he was in front of Naruto, and he sent out an impossibly fast kick, which sent the Uzumaki flying so hard he left smoke. Then, he moved to the Uchiha, who was frozen in terror, and bit him on the neck, planting the cursed seal. The Genin collapsed.

Wait, left a trail of smoke? Damn, _Kage Bunshin_!

Then he felt one of the most oppressive presences he ever had in his life. It was a seething mass of malevolence and hatred, all directed towards him. He saw the boy, with a red cloak of _visible_ chakra on him. His eyes were slits, and he looked furious. " ** _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_** "

There was a wave of sheerly oppressive chakra, and then the forest disappeared. All that existed was the boy. He was on the ground, on the branches, on the trunks, each having the same angry expression on his face. " ** _Konoha Ninpo: Oku Ha-Ken_** "

And then it began again. If before the leaves were coming from every direction, now there was not a cubic centimetre of space they did not occupy. And they were coming right at him.

Jumping inside the forest and pumping out a _Suijinheki_ at full strength proved little to no impediment for the blades. Even as Orochimaru was put in a meat grinder, the Jinchuuriki said, " **Why? You promised. You swore not to. Not to mark or harm us, and to leave.** "

Trying not to appear weak, Orochimaru laughed. "I promised not to mark him with the Cursed Seal of Earth. Who said anything about the Cursed Seal of _Heaven_? And I'm not technically on Konoha _ground_."

Then there were two simultaneous screams, one from the enraged Naruto due to exertion and anger, and one from Orochimaru as a particularly big leaf cut him vertically in half.

...

...


	3. The Hat

**Shinobi Hiden**

 **Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games**

 **The Hat**

 **or**

 **Clone Versus Clone, Mine are Better Than Mine**

Uzumaki Naruto was proficient with the _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_. Indeed, it was the only technique he could be described as being proficient in. But when you combine a small, shitty apartment, with immense chakra reserves and little to no knowledge of the technique, you get some _very_ interesting results.

...

 _Tetsu Bunshin no Jutsu_

Naruto was excited. Actually, excited might be too mild a word for what he was feeling right now. His brain was a turmoil of amazement, amusement, musing, abusing, confusion, disgust, and anger. He was going to get a team tomorrow, and he had just learned a very shocking piece of information. He was sad and disappointed and angry that the Hokage, his grandfather in all but blood, could keep such a thing from him. And for that he needed to be punished. In naught but a moment, the thought of pranking the Sandaime came to his mind, and was immediately accepted. _This is going to be the best prank of all time!_ But it should be big, colossal, on a scale never before known to man, shinobi, or demon. That required preparation. A lot of it. And didn't he have just the right technique.

" _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_ " Was the shout that rang through the almost empty building. Naruto's Chakra Control, tiny as it was, was shot to hell with the whirlpool of feelings he felt, and what should have been about twenty shadow clones had enough Chakra for two hundred.

But enough Chakra does not mean enough space. Naruto's small, closed apartment had enough space for only twenty people at most, and that was how many clones appeared.

 _But where did the rest of the Chakra go?_ Naruto started pacing around, extremely worried about something that could spell disaster for him. He might have high reserves, but making one clone for the price of ten was a bit too much. Distracted as they were, all of the clones were surprised when Naruto accidentally bumped into one of them.

But not as surprised as when the clone he bumped with fell on his bottom, hit his head on the floor, and did _not_ dispel.

 _What happened, in the name of Ramen? Aren't_ Kage Bunshin _supposed to dispel with a light hit?_

And even if what he read was wrong, he clearly remembered a clone dispelling during the Mizuki Incident when it hit a tree, and this hit was significantly harder than that one.

As one, each of them had the same thought.

" **JIJI!** "

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage, was what you would generally describe as a veteran, in the truest sense of the word. Nowadays, he was barely surprised by anything. Paperwork slowly killed him. Mission assignments were tedious. Naruto's pranks were normal.

So, understandably, he was not excessively surprised when he heard the sounds of a stampede, and the door opened to admit about two dozen Narutos. However, he could not make any sense of what was happening, because each one was speaking different things about different topics on different volumes at the same time.

"Naruto-Kun, I think my old ears would be agreeable to only one of you explaining what happened and how you killed a clone who had not died because Mizuki fell from a Kunai." He stated, perplexed but amused.

Each young blonde said 'Yeah!' at excessive volume, then they winced as one, and rubbed the back of their heads. Then, Hiruzen grew fearful as he saw the looks that came on the young troublemaker's face. _Why do I feel that I am in a bad situation?_

.

All Jonin of Konohagakure which were not currently on missions were called to the Hokage Tower for a meeting. Since it was not very urgent, the called Shinobi trickled in in twos and threes, until everyone was there. Kakashi, as always, had not come till now.

"Jonin of Konoha, I have not called you here today." That simple statement made the hall break out in whispers. There were faces made of confusion, suspicion, and a host of other expressions. The Hokage waited until they were silent again, then continued.

"In fact, the reason you are here is because of our resident troublemaker, Uzumaki Naruto."

The hall broke into whispers again. The Kyuubi kid? Had he gone AWOL? Rogue?

"As you already know, he is the _Kyuubi no Jinchuuriki._ This piece of information was, until recently, kept from him. And since it was I who made it so, he is now going to give me my 'rightful punsihment', in his words."

Then, out of the window, came in said blonde. Then one more. Then another. This process continued till there were twenty one identical blondes standing in line, grinning eerily.

Then one went to the Sandaime and said, "Jiji, for the crime of withholding important information from the future Hokage, your punishment is..." Drumroll "That I will make a bet, and you have to accept it. If I lose, no consequences. If I win, well then,... you'll see. You can't go back on it, promise?"

Sighing in relief that his so called punishment was no harsher than that, he said, "I accept that, Naruto-Kun. Tell me of this bet, if you please?"

"So listen. I told you, if I lose, then nothing. If I _win_ , on the other hand... You name me Hokage right now right here, no questions asked."

The Hokage smiled. However, his mind rapidly imagined various scenarios, each more horrible than the last. "I would be alright with that, Naruto-Kun, provided that you don't have something impossible like crawling to Kumo and back in an hour..."

Meanwhile, the Jonin observed the ongoing back-and-forth with increasing incredulity.

"No, no, nothing like that!" Naruto said, waving his hands. "In fact, what you have to do is that you have to do is dispel one of my clones here with the least amount of force you can. Like, you hit one of them with the amount of force you think will be enough to dispel it, but nothing more. If it doesn't dispel, I win, and then I'LL BE HOKAGE, BY RAMEN!"

The Jonin sweatdropped.

The Hokage smiled again. But he didn't know why, but he was feeling an uncomfortable sense of foreboding. He held out his hand, and Genma threw him a senbon out of his mouth. After throwing it back at him, he searched around in his drawer, finally taking out a ver old, abused Kunai.

"This is a very special instrument, Naruto. When I and my teammates passed the Bell Test of the Nidaime, who was our Sensei, he gave each of us a Kunai. We have them to this day, and we use them only for the most important events."

The Jonin bubbled in anticipation. This could be either another normal day, or History with a capital H.

He took the Kunai, and after a second of utmost concentration, threw it at one of the clones. It flew through the air in slow motion, then hit one of the clones.

There was a puff of smoke, and the clone dispelled as all of them do.

Or at least that was what everyone expected.

In actuality, the Kunai hit the clone in the shoulder, then bounced back. The clone in question winced and rubbed his shoulder.

The Hokage blinked. Asuma's cigarette and Genma's senbon, which had magically reappeared in his mouth, fell down. Hayate coughed. Gai shouted. Kurenai slapped herself. There were similar reactions from the others.

The Jonin, and the Hokage all did a simultaneous ' **KAI!** ', which had absolutely no effect. Kurenai did a long string of Hand Seals rapidly, and the only effect they had was to make Hayate dizzy.

The Hokages's smile widened into a grin, then evolved into a laugh. A loud, hearty laugh which permeated every corner of the room. "You got me good, Naruto-Kun! You got me good. Well, it seems that I will have to accept my defeat in good grace." The only reason the Sandaime was so happy was because NO MORE PAPERWORK! True, he did feel guilty putting an enemy such as paperwork on the young prankster's back, but who cared? HE WAS FREE! But there _was_ something nagging at the back of his mind, feeling important...

Oh yes!

"Now Naruto-Kun, could you please tell me how you just did that?" The Hoka- No, the _Sandaime_ asked. Naruto's smile blinded everyone except the Aburames.

"Let me introduce you to my newest technique, Old Man. My _Tetsu Bunshin,_ the _Iron Clones._ " The Jonin had open mouths and wide eyes. True, Umino had mentioned a special _Henge_ one or two times, but to _invent_ a technique before becoming Genin? It was unheard of.

"Now, Old Man, the hat." Naruto's blinding smile continued to blind.

The Sandaime grinned, then removed his hat from his head, revealing his spiky white hair. He slowly placed it on the young blonde's spiky hair, then released it. Naruto's blinding smile tripled in intensity. The Aburame were blinded.

The Jonin were in shock. To become a Kage on a bet was unprecedented, but for a thirteen year old orphan prankster Jinchuuriki to do so was impossible, as far as they knew.

"Jonin of Konoha," The Sandaime announced. "Welcome your **_Godaime Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto!_** "

It was at that moment that Hatake Kakashi's head peeked in through the door, with an eye-smile.

"Did I miss anything?"

...

...


	4. The Four's Tale

**Shinobi Hiden**

 **Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games**

 **The Four's Tale**

Namikaze Minato.

Konoha's Yellow Flash, _Konoha no Kiiroi Senkō._

The Fourth Hokage, the _Yondaime_.

He was hailed as a genius. And so he was.

...

 _Fūinjutsu: Shiki Fūjin_

Namikaze Minato, recently named Yondaime Hokage, was feeling an unsettling _something_ in his stomach. Perhaps it was overexposure to the Kyuubi no Yoko's Demonic Chakra, the Yokai. Or maybe the fact that he was going to perform his most dreaded technique, which could only be used once, with not a pretty price, and that he would never see his Wife or Son again, even in the afterlife.

But it was probably that he had just been forced to eat twenty bowls of ramen, and he was trying not to soil himself right then and there.

But enough of that.

Snake.

Boar.

Ram.

Rabbit.

Dog.

Rat.

Bird.

Horse.

Snake.

Clap Hands.

A presence appeared behind him, every bit as terrifying as the Demon in front of him, and more.

" ** _Fūinjutsu: Shiki Fūjin_** "

An ANBU appeared nearby, with a baby in his hands. _His_ baby. His son. Naruto.

It was just then that a terrifying realisation hit him. Naruto was a _baby_. He would not be able to hold all that Chakra. He would have to split it in half.

Yes, he would put the Yang half in Naruto, and the Yin half in himself.

It was just then that _another_ terrifying realization hit him. Putting either half would create a terrible Chakra imbalance. Naruto would be unable to control his Chakra. Also that he had no idea how that would react with the Shinigami's stomach.

Then what to do? What to do? What?

It was then that _another_ terrifying realization hit him, _again_. If he put this _thing_ in Naruto, everyone would see him as the Demon he contained. They would try to hurt him, harm him, kill him. Slice him into so many tiny little pieces...

 _So many tiny little pieces_! Of course! That would work!

" _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_!"

The Yondaime liked most of the Nidaime's Jutsus, and praised him mentally for creating this one.

With whatever Chakra he had left, he created about three dozen shadow clones, baby in arms. About three dozen puffs of smoke, and about three dozen Hokages, with about three dozen small bundles of life in their arms.

 _Kage Bunshin_ copied whatever was in direct and indirect contact with the user, in a radius of a metre. That was the primary reason there was a puff of smoke when they appeared. Air was cloned too. That was also the primary reason they were not conjured naked. And that was also the primary reason he had cloned the baby in his arms.

When Kage Bunshin dispelled, they transferred whatever Chakra and memories they had to the original. So if he sealed the Kyuubi into the about three dozen Narutos, then each Naruto would get an about three dozenths of the Kyuubi's Chakra, or was it one in about three dozen? So no individual clone would dispel due to chakra overload, and then he could slowly have the clones dispelled over time. This would slowly transfer the entirety of the Chakra to Naruto, and since each increment would increase his endurance, as well as the fact that he would be older with each one, he could probably get it all in about one and a half years of age.

And that was how Uzumaki Naruto had Academy Level Chakra Control in the Academy, instead of Civilian Level. That was also how he had five times Kage Level reserves, instead of just Kage Level.

...

...


	5. Being a Shinobi

**Shinobi Hiden**

 **Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games**

 **Being a Shinobi**

There are many Shinobi in Konoha. But what if they actually _acted_ like it?

…

 _Konoha no Kuro Reisu_

 _The Black Wraith of Konoha_

 _Hatake_ _Kakashi_

When Hatake Kakashi joined the ANBU, he was just another one. Nameless, faceless, unremarkable except for the fact that he was an ANBU and therefore remarkable.

But he was a person with little to care for, and less to lose. Almost all his comrades, his family, were lost.

And that type of person is the most dangerous one.

He took A-Rank missions, with a few S-Ranks thrown in between. Assassination, infiltration, these were his bread and butter. But he was angry. Obito was dead. Rin was dead. Sensei was dead. He was alive. _They_ were alive. Unacceptable.

So he went to the Sandaime, with a proposition.

"Are you sure? This could have repercussions."

"I am."

"Then so be it."

.

 _Three Years Later_

Bingo Books contained the profiles of only B, A, and S-Rank Shinobi. For each, there were one of three types of recommendations of combat. Kill On Sight, Do Not Engage, and Flee On Sight. That day, one more was added, for a single person. They didn't know who he was. They didn't know how he looked like. What they did know was who he worked for. He was invisible, inaudible, undetectable.

Each village releases entries of their Missing-Nin in the communal Bingo Books, which are maintained by organizations based in the Tetsu no Kuni. They have pictures, and reveal fighting styles, rank, and the amount of money the village is willing to give on their capture or confirmed death.

There were many small offices of the unnamed Tetsu-based organization, scattered across the continent, which sent the captured Missing-Nin, in most cases the dead ones' heads to their respective villages, and the village replied with the promised bounty. The identity of the killer or capturer was generally unrevealed.

What unsettled four of the Five Great Shinobi Nations' Kages was that slowly, each one of the thirty three names was dying. Slowly, but surely. And that each one's head had two symbols branded on it. The Leaf, and the Dog.

The Raikage and Tsuchikage were angered and irritated by this blatant disrespect. The Mizukage was surprised. The Kazekage thanked his lucky stars he was allied with Konoha. The Hokage smoked and smiled.

Because this was basically the Shinobi equivalent of shouting 'I am strong enough to kill whom you could not, and confident enough to tell this to you publicly'.

For the workers in every branch of abovementioned unnamed organization's office, the first of every month was something to look forward to. Not only because that was the day they received their pay, but also because that was the day when every month, in one of the offices, there was found another head from the Bingo Book.

And thus, by decision of a few Kages and the unnamed President of the abovementioned unnamed organization, there was added a new type of Combat Recommendation, and a new entry, without a photo.

 **Name:** [Unknown]

 **Codename:** Inu

 **Affiliation:** Konoha

 **Rank:** S-Rank

 **Bounty**

{100000000 Ryo (Kumo)}

{150000000 Ryo (Iwa)}

{75000000 Ryo (Kiri)}

{75000000 Ryo (Suna)}

{0 Ryo (Konoha)}

 **Combat Recommendation:** Flee on Suspicion of Presence

Because, after all, he was never seen.

After seeing this entry, the Raikage destroyed his desk, and, in a rare occasion, the Tsuchikage atomized the copy of the book he was reading.

Because for Konoha to give a zero Ryo bounty meant that they were basically declaring that Inu would not be caught.

…

 _Hatake_ _Kakashi_

 _Sensei_

Kakashi's first impression of his latest team was, in a single word, _unimpressive_. Blondie was high-chakra-no-control, pinkie was high-control-no-chakra, broody was arrogant and whatever.

After Naruto had made a new technique literally out of thin air, he was plagued by that one enemy which few Kage had defeated, if ever - paperwork. Confirm that you did not give your student any information or ideas. Confirm that this Jutsu was not officially recorded in the Konoha Scroll of Techniques, the Scroll of Observed Enemy Techniques, the Uchiha Stolen Techniques Library, the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum. Confirm that you sent so and so a paper to so and so a department, and then confirm that you confirmed that you sent so and so a paper to so and so a department.

It was during that infernal week straight from Mitarashi Anko's nightmares that he began seeing his team in a new light. Indeed, his team was the classic definition of well rounded. A Taijutsu - Genjutsu - Ninjutsu specialist in Sasuke if he activated his Sharingan, a Genjutsu - Taijutsu - Iryojutsu specialist in Sakura (He had added the taijutsu after he saw her punch Naruto halfway through a wall) if she got her reserves and stamina up, and a Ninjutsu - Taijutsu specialist in Naruto.

Well, speaking of Mitarashi Anko, hadn't he 'heard' about her bet with Kurenai about how badly his team would fail their first Chuunin Exams?

Now, now, he couldn't allow such notions, could he?

"Genin."

When he heard that word, Sasuke knew something was wrong. Kakashi always called them his 'Cute Little Genin', and only after giving some sort of stupid excuse about his lateness. By the looks on their faces, the fangirl and the dobe had noticed, too.

"Uhh... Is anything the matter, sensei?" Sakura timidly started.

"Yes." This very blunt answer left them hanging for a second.

"As you know, I am a Jonin. This means that, as an elite, I am, unofficially of course, expected to have good knowledge of the goings-on in the village."

"Sensei, did something happen? Are we going on a super-secret mission to save the village?" Naruto asked, starting serious but then devolving into his usual enthusiasm.

"No, Naruto. But something is _going_ to happen." He paused for a moment, then soldiered on. "The Chuunin Selection Exams."

Sasuke sent his commander, not a teacher because he hadn't really taught them anything, a questioning look. "Yes, Sasuke. And no, you won't be able to join the Exam alone, it is a team event."

"But enough of that. What _did_ happen is that a little birdie told me that she heard someone say to someone else that you were going to, _in no uncertain terms_ , fail this event quite horribly. For now, I must say that I agree with that assessment." Raising a hand to stop the protests he knew were coming, he continued. "However, this would reflect badly on the Village, and as your teacher, on me. As such, I have decided to change your training." Not that anything they did was actually _training_.

In a sudden change of pace, he turned towards Sasuke and sharply demanded- "Sasuke, what do you think of this team and its members' potential?"

Taking a moment to compose himself, he replied. "I am the strongest, and the best. Then the dobe, because of his stamina, and his clones can be used for other menial tasks. Sakura is useless." Sakura winced.

Kakashi said one word. "Incorrect." When the Uchiha raised an eyebrow, all he got was 'You will see.'

Sasuke watched as the Jonin asked Naruto to create a _Kage Bunshin_ , then created one of his own and then both clones went a little way away. The Kakashi whispered something to the Naruto for some time, then punched him in the face. Then he himself dispelled.

Naruto said, "Okay, Sensei." He turned towards Sakura, then spit out a swear and whirled backwards to Kakashi. "Sensei, how do I-". Kakashi interrupted him, saying that he got them when they dispelled. Sasuke could make neither head nor tail of that statement, and as it seemed, neither could the fangirl, but Naruto appeared satisfied. Then, he turned again to her, and said with a blinding smile, "Sakura-chan, I love you with the bottom of my heart. Will you do me the honour of bathing with me?" Kakashi could hear, even as Sakura let her jaw drop and eyes fall, a muted thump in the trees.

A few seconds later, when the pink haired girl regained higher thought and motor function, she screamed 'NAAAARUUTOO-BAAKAAA!' and punched him in the face, sending him flying.

"Sasuke, what happened here?"

"Dobe said something foolish. Sakura punched him."

"How much do you think Naruto weighs?"

"Fifty kilos, nearabout?"

"And what was his trajectory?"

Kakashi watched with glee as the Uchiha put two and two together, gazing at the team's Kunoichi with newfound respect, and was that a hint of fear?

 _Well, that's one thing done._

After Naruto returned to the land if the living, and they stood, once again, in front of him, he turned his narrow gaze to the lone Kunoichi of the team. She paled and sweated.

"Sakura. If I have one Jonin level Shinobi, and a hundred bandits, then will they be able to touch him before they are all killed?"

Sakura remembered Kakashi dodging their attacks, as easily as walking, and they were much better than bandits. She promptly replied, "No, Sensei."

"And what if I have a _thousand_ Jonin level?"

"Then they would be easily able to kill a hundred thousand bandits, or even more if they use big attacks."

"How many clones can Naruto make?"

"I... I don't know, Sensei. Maybe a hundred?"

Naruto, at this point, interrupted. "Hey, that's not right! I made a thousand when Mizuki and I fought- Shit, Iwasn'tsupposedtosaythat!"

"What do you mean? You never fought Mizuki-Sensei, he's been sick from after graduation, alongwith Iruka-Sensei." Sasuke interjected. Kakashi praised the Log for that miracle of nature. However, before Naruto could begin speaking, Kakashi himself started speaking.

"Untrue. What you were told was a lie. What _actually_ happened is a B-Ranked secret, and you are not allowed to diverge it to anyone. Not your parents, not your friends, _absolutely no one_! Is that understood?"

While Sasuke and Sakura were unnerved, and a little afraid, but curiosity killed the cat. "Hai, sensei!"

Kakashi started explaining, in short, clipped language that was used on the battlefield. "Mizuki was a traitor. Used Naruto to get the Forbidden Scroll of Seals, tried to escape. Harmed Iruka when pursued. Naruto learnt the _Kage Bunshin_. Killed Mizuki."

While the two children were unable to form responses even to the first sentence, when they heard that Naruto had stolen something kept on highest guard in the Hokage Tower they literally let their mouths hang. And when it came to the slightly exaggerated killing part, Sakura fell on her butt. Kakashi thanked ANBU training which allowed him to lock his jaw, else he would have laughed at the utterly broken expression that was Sasuke's face.

His face, though no one could see it, wore, in addition to the mask, an expression of extreme sadistic happiness. He now knew why so many people wanted to be Senseis. It was fun as hell.

"Dobe...Chuunin...Killed...Chicken...Stairs..."

"Naruto...Baka...Sensei...Secret...Sasuke-kun..."

Before his two students could continue their increasingly unhealthy lines of thought, or his other student could reveal the untruth of his little lie, Kakashi spoke again.

"Do you see, now? A thousand Academy students to kill a Chuunin. A thousand Genin to kill a Jonin. A thousand Chuunin to take down a _Kage_. **A THOUSAND JONIN TO TAKE ON THE WHOLE WORLD!** " While he was exaggerating a little bit, it was all in good fun. And it was worth it, seeing their expressions. Sasuke, if broken before, was now shattered, ground to dust, and recycled. Sakura was brain-dead. Naruto was drooling rivers, at first. Then, something unexpected happened.

A blond boy, bowing at his feet. "Teach me, sensei."

.

 _Za Antatchaburu Gun_

 _The Untouchable Army_

Dodge. Swirl. Jump. Deflect. Block. Parry. Sweep.

This was what Naruto was doing, as Kakashi came at him with extreme prejudice, and a sharper kunai. It was almost as if his teacher could predict what he was about to do, even with his red eye (Share-ing-gan, was it?) closed.

"Damn!"

"Seven point one seconds. You have improved." Kakashi drawled.

"Yeah, by all of a fifth of a second. And you say that you're going Chuunin level. That doesn't even count!" Naruto was staring at the ground, saddened by his apparent lack of progress.

"In a fifth of a second I can form a Chidori and pierce you with it. And you say that it doesn't count? Every little thing counts, Naruto. It is individual drops that make ramen broth." Kakashi had learned, in a few days of training, that the mention of ramen, even if not as a reward, could fire up the blond.

The fire consumed his student's eyes, once again. "Yeah! And then when I can keep going forever no one will be able to touch me or my clones and then I'll be the best Ninja ever!"

Years later, when Naruto dropped in in the fight with Kakuzu, the bounty hunter's eyes narrowed, recognising the boy in front of him. The Untouchable Army, they called him. Inhuman reserves, those which dwarfed even Kisame's. It was said, in some circles, that he could flow through a sieve without touching a single wire. Some time later, the Akatsuki lost a member.

...

...


	6. Explanations

**Shinobi Hiden**

 **Missions, Misinformation, and Mind Games**

 **Explanations**

This is, quite simply, an explanation for how things in the previous chapters were done, and their finer mechanics.

...

 _Chapter 1_

The air contains Nature Chakra. The Kyuubi, being a Bijuu, is obviously connected with nature. So, when Naruto tries to substitute with or _Hiraishin_ to air, his chakra recognises the air as being his own chakra, given the fact above, in addition to his yet undiscovered wind affinity. This aids him in doing so easily.

For a normal shinobi, a high level in Wind manipulation would be necessary to do this.

...

 _Chapter 2_

This chapter is self explanatory, but I shall still do it.

Sasuke and Sakura hardened the leaves. Sasuke made a sheet of Katon Chakra. Naruto went on the trees, cloned, and covered the leaves in Fuuton Chakra before shooting them. The Katon Chakra torched the leaves, strengthened by the Fuuton.

...

 _Chapter 3_

Naruto uses enough Chakra to make 200 _Kage Bunshin_ , but gets 20 due to lack of space. Just like overlapping shadows get darker, overlapping clones get harder.

This does not happen when you pump more Chakra into a clone, because that increases its Chakra capacity. Here, a clone is being made where a clone already is.

...

 _Chapter 4_

All _Kage Bunshin_ transfer Chakra to their original. When a part of the Kyuubi is sealed into each _Bunshin_ , their lifespan increases dramatically. Thus, Naruto gets the whole Kyuubi instead of just the Yang part. This increases his Chakra control, because of Yin-Yang balance, and reserves.

...

 _Chapter 5_

Looking to remove all suspicion about his capacity as a teacher, Kakashi disillusions his team. Years later, each one of them is unstoppable, even though it shows only Naruto.

...

...

 **IMPORTANT**

This story is said to have great ideas. I would be grateful if someone assisted me in writing a story which uses all these little ideas to make something good. In short, I am looking for a Beta Reader for a future story.


	7. New Story!

I've posted a new story! See _A Look on the Real Fourth Shinobi World War_.


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